The Six Million Dollar Man: The Solid Gold Kidnapping (1973)

The Solid Gold Kidnapping, which went to air in late 1973, is the third of The Six Million Dollar Man TV movies. Like the previous movie it was directed by Russ Mayberry. This one was written by Alan Caillou and Larry Alexander.

As in Wine, Women and War this is very much Steve Austin in James Bond mode. The pre-opening credits action prologue is rather Bondian. Even the theme song (sung by Dusty Springfield) is a bit Bondian. And as in Wine, Women and War there’s a lot of rather risqué sexual innuendo which Lee Majors tries to deliver in as Bondian a manner as possible. There are exotic settings (thanks to the copious use of stock footage) and there are three Bond girls (sorry, Austin Girls). And one of them is a beautiful but deadly Contessa. There’s even a casino scene. I keep expecting the hero to say, “The name is Austin. Steve Austin.” And then to order a vodka martini, shaken not stirred.

This time Steve is up against an international criminal organisation, very much like SPECTRE. Very very much like SPECTRE. They specialise in kidnapping high-ranking diplomats and governments officials for immense ransoms. Their target this time is not just a very senior American diplomat (named William Henry Cameron), he is also a man who knows all of America’s military secrets. He should be worth every penny of the billion dollar ransom they’re asking. Yes, a cool billion. In gold.

That action prologue is actually a very good action set-piece in a ruined Mayan temple.

The really cool idea in this movie (and it’s a very science fictional idea) is the method the OSI uses to find the kidnappers. Genius scientist (who also happens to be young, attractive and female) Dr Erica Berger (Elizabeth Ashley) has developed a technique for transplanting brain cells in rats to give one rat the memories of another rat. She hasn’t tested it on humans yet but now she’s going to have to do just that – with herself as the guinea pig. She transplants brain cells from one of the kidnappers who was killed into her own brain. Now that she has that man’s memories she should be able to direct Steve to wherever the kidnappers have stashed Cameron. Which means she’ll have to go with him, offering an excuse for Austin to have a beautiful woman with him on his mission. And for some hints of an emotional attachment. Steve sees Erica as being a bit like him – a human experiment. And the experiment might threaten her humanity.

The US Government agrees to the ransom and the gold is sent by freighter to Rome, with (weirdly) just one guy to guard it.

I thought Lee Majors was fine in the first two movies but I like him more in this one – he seems just a bit more relaxed and more confident. And a bit more convincingly Bond-like.

Elizabeth Ashley gives an effective enough performance, especially when she has to portray the trauma of having someone else’s sometimes unpleasant memories. Luciana Paluzzi is fine as the Contessa, a typical Bond movie female. Richard Anderson is suitably ruthless as Steve’s boss Oscar Goldman, a man who has no qualms about sacrificing people to get the job done.

John Vernon was always good at being cold-blooded and ruthless and he makes a good chief villain. Not quite Bond villain stature but still pretty menacing.

There’s quite a complex plot here and it has some very neat twists. The twist with the gold is very clever. The subplot with Erica possibly losing her mind is handled well without unnecessary histrionics. Steve Austin gets quite a few opportunities to demonstrate his super powers. The opening action set-piece is the best but the speedboat chase is good and there’s some decent suspense.

Wine, Women and War is perhaps just a little better but The Solid Gold Kidnapping plays very well as a cut-price Bond movie with some nifty science fiction elements. This is pretty entertaining stuff and it’s highly recommended.

Decoy (1957)

Decoy was a syndicated 1957 cop drama that has considerable historical interest, being the first American cop series to feature a woman as the lead character. It’s also unusual for American TV of that era in featuring some actual location shooting with some great New York street scenes.

Officer Patricia “Casey” Jones (Beverly Garland) is a New York policewoman. She doesn’t have a regular assignment. Like a lot of her fellow policewomen she gets assigned to various squads when they need a female officer to go undercover.

The series only lasted for one season (of 39 episodes). The obvious explanation for this is that it tried to be fairly realistic. Policewomen didn’t spend most of their time beating up bad guys or shooting them. When assigned to plain-clothes work they just went undercover and tried to blend into whatever environment they found themselves in, either patiently gathering evidence or equally patiently for a criminal to take the bait (the policewoman being the bait). Which means that it’s a much less action-packed series than something like M Squad. The insistence on not making Casey an unrealistic action heroine was admirable but would not have helped the ratings.

It’s not hard to see why none of the networks were interested – they would have had no idea what to do with a series such as this which is too unconventional and low-key to fit neatly into the cop show genre.

The show’s biggest asset is without a doubt Beverly Garland, an extraordinarily talented actress who should have become a major star but it just never happened for her. The format of the series gives her plenty of opportunities to stretch her acting wings. An undercover policewoman like Casey had to be an actress of sorts, constantly playing different rôles which of course means that Garland gets to vary her performances (and she does so very skilfully).

She also has to be tough and she has to be sensitive and occasionally she has to be vulnerable. All of which Garland manages with ease.

It also has to be said that Beverly Garland is very glamorous. And when she gets undercover assignments that require her to play up the glamour she’s very very glamorous indeed.

At the end of every episode Casey breaks the fourth wall and gives us a spiel about the work of policewomen. This sort of thing (along with voiceover narration) was a common but irritating feature of a lot of 50s cop shows. Of course the producers needed the coöperation of police departments so the spiels occasionally sound like public relations releases.

The scripts are, on the whole, extremely strong and despite the half-hour format they have a lot more complexity than you might expect. They’re pleasingly varied – sometimes very dark, sometimes slightly whimsical. And on occasions they’re not afraid to address tricky ethical dilemmas.

It’s fascinating to compare Decoy to Police Woman. Police Woman is a wonderfully entertaining series but Decoy is more interesting, more psychologically complex, more realistic and more intelligent. It can be dark but it can be hopeful as well. And while Angie Dickinson has enormous charisma Beverly Garland is in her own way just as memorable.

Episode Guide

In Stranglehold a sailor has been murdered and a woman, Molly Orchid, has been picked up trying to pawn the dead man’s watch. The police think her boyfriend George did the killing but they know nothing about him apart from his name. It’s Casey’s job to befriend Molly and find out who George is. It turns out to be a much more dangerous job than she expected.

The Red Clown is an episode that offers a clue as why this series only lasted one season. Casey is trying to track down an errant husband so that he can be forced to pay child support. Casey has visions of reuniting father and daughter but finds that putting families back together isn’t so easy. It’s not a bad story. In fact it’s very good. I admire the series for showing a policewoman working the sort of unglamorous everyday cases that a real policewoman would have been involved in. It’s just not a cop show story. There’s no crime, no arrests, no guns, no-one is in any danger. It’s just a cop trying to bring a father and a daughter back together. When you compare it to contemporary cop shows like Dragnet or M Squad you can see why a lot of viewers were going to be alienated or mystified. In TV in that era a series that did not fit genre expectations was going to have trouble finding an audience.

In The Phoner Casey has to trap a man making obscene phone calls to a woman named Betty. It could be more dangerous than it sounds, for both Betty and Casey. An effectively tense episode.

To Trap a Thief starts with Casey on a routine assignment, trying to catch pickpockets. Then gunfire breaks out. It’s the aftermath of an armed robbery. The robbery itself is far from routine. $17,000 was stolen but the thieves only had $7,000 on them when apprehended. What happened to the other $10,000? Suspicion falls on veteran cop Frank Torrino. As part of the investigation Casey poses as a blackmailer but what she uncovers is not what she expected. It’s a solid story but what makes this a typical (and very good) Decoy episode is the compassion for human weakness.

Dream Fix deals with a junkie, a young woman who might lead the cops to a big-time dealer. Casey goes undercover as a nurse at a rehab hospital. Another typical Decoy episode with the emphasis on the human side of police work.

The Savage Payoff deals with sports betting and rigged basketball games. Casey goes undercover to befriend a player whom the cops suspect is involved. He’s a nice boy and Casey hates to think he might be mixed up in anything dishonest. Another story in which right and wrong is not something straightforward.

Casey finds herself behind bars in Deadly Corridor, posing as a prisoner to solve the murder of an inmate. She might find the answer but she might not like it. This one gives Beverly Garland a chance to do her tough girl thing. Not a bad story.


In Escape into Danger Casey arrives home after a long shift to find that one of her neighbours has committed a murder. Mary Waleski has killed her violent alcoholic husband and now Mary has fled. But there’s something really important that Mary doesn’t know, so Casey has to find her. A good tense story with an interesting twist – the police are hunting a woman they know to be innocent.

Casey is launched into high society in Necklace of Glass. She’s the bait in the trap for the man responsible for a series of jewel robberies. It’s the kind of job she’s done before but you can’t always be sure things will go smoothly. A good episode which gives Beverly Garland the chance to show how glamorous she can be.

In Scape Goat Casey screws up badly. She and a male detective had to go to the airport to take a woman into custody (the woman had been extradited from Canada). Casey followed her instincts and took the cuffs off the woman. Casey was wrong, but she was also right. Her instincts told her correctly that this woman was no ordinary criminal. Now Casey and her colleague are in race against time to prevent a tragedy. This is another Decoy episode focused on the emotional pressures that can lead a person to commit a crime. And it’s another solid episode.

In Two Days to Kill Casey has to act as bodyguard to a 18-year-old named Selma who is a vital witness against her hoodlum boyfriend. It’s only for two days but it’s a long two days for Casey. She and Selma are just not going to get along and Selma is going to be trouble. A darker episode, and a good one.

Queen of Diamonds takes Casey undercover as a photographer in a night-club. Her job is to find evidence that will break an unbreakable alibi. There’s a complex romantic triangle involved as well, and conflicting loyalties that could play out disastrously. There are complications from the past and the past can haunt the present. A very good episode.

My Brother\’s Killer starts with Casey getting a very lucky break. An incident that is absurdly trivial could lead to the capture of a man wanted for his part in an armed hold-up that ended in murder. That lucky break isn’t as straightforward as it seemed and the result is a remarkably dark, brutal suspense-filled episode with some real film noir atmosphere. A truly excellent episode, the best of the series so far.

In Bullet of Hate a teenage girl is driven to murder her cruel aunt, or at least that’s how it looks. Casey isn’t so sure. She’s spotted quite a few clues that tell a different story but she’ll have to move carefully to find evidence to support her suspicions. There’s certainly plenty of festering hate in this overheated melodramatic episode. Decoy is usually a bit more subtle than this.

Casey infiltrates a major shoplifting gang in Death Watch. Her job is to find the man behind the operation, which she does only she finds out that he is involved in a lot more than shoplifting. She also has to deal with a punch-drunk young ex-fighter. This episode deals with evil but as usual with some touches of complexity. Unfortunately it’s an episode that should be suspenseful but the suspense falls a bit flat.

In Odds Against the Jockey there’s murder at the race-track. This one has a decent mystery plot and Casey is charmed by a loveable rogue who may be a killer. It’s fairly light-hearted but stylish and slick and overall it’s a very good episode.

A model is murdered in the garment district in New York in Dressed for the Kill. She wasn’t a very popular model. Casey goes undercover as a model to find the killer (there’s no point in having a series about a beautiful policewoman unless there’s at least one episode in which she has to pose as a model). The mystery in this one isn’t too challenging but it’s a decent enough episode.

In An Eye for an Eye Casey goes undercover as a junkie after a female junkie is murdered. The police want the murderer and they want to break up the narcotics ring that was supplying her. It turns out the dead girl’s brother was involved in the drug ring. It’s a story of loyalty betrayed and it’s not bad.

The Challenger is a boxing story, dealing with mobsters trying to take control of a young boxer’s career. Casey gets involved when she encounters the boxer’s wife. The problem of course is that no-one in the boxing game is prepared to talk to the cops but Casey isn’t giving up. A reasonably good and rather dark episode and one which emphasises the difficulties the police face when people make the mistake of thinking they can deal with criminals on their own.

In Across the World an import-export business is dealing in more than just machine tools and the owner of the business is murdered when she finds out too much. Casey goes undercover as the new owner and finds herself in the middle of some complicated double-crosses. And she gets beaten up for her trouble. Not a bad episode.

The Showplace deals with a bar that is a front for prostitution although this is implied rather than stated outright. One of the girls has been murdered. Casey has to find the killer, preferably without getting herself killed. A decent episode.

Reasonable Doubt is interesting. The police have one suspect for an armed robbery and they want to nail the guy’s brother as well. Casey has to find the evidence to prove the brother’s guilt but she’s not comfortable with the lies and manipulation in which she has to engage in order to do so. It’s rather surprising for a cop show in 1957 to be so honest about the methods of the police. There are several layers of betrayal in this extremely good episode.

Night of Fire is an arson case. The chief suspect is one of the office girls, a former patient in a mental hospital. This one gets just a tiny bit preachy but there’s some good stuff with alibis.

In Saturday Lost Casey has to help a woman who has lost her memory. Her memory loss is real enough but maybe she’s lost her memory because there’s something that she really doesn’t want to remember. A good story.

In High Swing a drug overdose leads the police to a robbery racket and, as so often in tis series, we’re dealing with criminals who are tragic rather than evil. And Casey discovers once again that when you work undercover you get inside people’s lives. A very good episode.

A high-stakes gambling club is the target in Earthbound Satellite, but the operators are very clever indeed. Casey is of course undercover but she’s without backup. There’s some fun 1950s high-tech stuff in this story and it’s another case which for Casey has a rather bitter-sweet ending. A very good episode.

In The Sound of Tears a rich young man is shot by a woman in Central Park. She really wanted to make sure of the job – she shot him six times at close range. A cop on the scene let her get away. There is one clue – a dachshund which may belong to the murderess. Another story that combines mystery and emotional depth.

Ladies Man starts interestingly – a woman carrying a cardboard box on the subway, but it’s a deadly box. And the man who gave her the box has to be found. There’s a good tense climax in a cabin in the woods. A pretty good episode.

Cry Revenge starts with a woman reporting threatening phone calls from a pair of hoodlums. Casey is assigned to protect her and discovers there’s a complicated family drama going on as well. There’s a daughter who wants revenge and there are illusions that would be better off being shattered. The police case against the hoodlums collapses but that family drama will have unexpected consequences. There’s a crime story here but it’s the family dynamics that really matter, with Casey remaining mostly in the background. Another emotional story but it works.

In The Gentle Gun-Man a cheap hood named Danny gets killed in a bungled robbery but it’s his gun the police are interested in. Lots of similar guns have been used in recent robberies – guns that have been so cleverly doctored that they are completely untraceable. Casey poses as Danny’s widow to try to find the source of these guns and she learns that sometimes criminals can be not just sympathetic – they can be really really nice people. But she still has her job to do. A very good episode.

On the surface Night Light is about upscale jewel thefts but it’s really about the complex relationship between a father and his son. Nick (Martin Balsam) is a crook and a loser but he loses his son. Unfortunately that’s going to be very bad for the kid in the long run. Casey wants to solve the case but as usual she’s more interested in the human cost of crime. And that’s really what this series is all about. A very good episode.

In Fiesta at Midnight Juan Ortega is fresh off the boat from Puerto Rico and now he’s facing a murder charge. He has an alibi but the police can’t find the girl who can confirm it. All Juan can tell them is that her name is Maria and she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. The alibi stuff is handled well and the clue that leads Casey to the solution is clever. A good episode.

The Lieutenant Had a Son is another domestic drama episode. A soldier is looking for the son he abandoned five years earlier. He finds him but the result is a heart-breaking tug-of-love story. These are the stories that Decoy did very well, accepting the complexities of domestic situations in which nobody is actually the bad guy but there seems to be no way to resolve the situation with someone getting hurt. As so often Casey doesn’t see her job as being to arrest people but to persuade them to do the right thing. A fine episode.

In Shadow of Van Gogh someone is producing high quality forgeries of Van Gogh paintings. The forgeries are so good that it’s almost as if they’re being painted by someone who really thinks he is Van Gogh. Which proves to be the case. But Casey’s job is not to find the forger but the man behind the forgeries. This is a reasonably successful attempt to explore the strange world of art. Maybe it’s a bit too respectful of that world but it’s more successful in getting into the mind of a struggling artist. A good episode.

In Tin Pan Payoff Casey discovers that the music business is a world of glamour and excitement but also a world of heartbreak, treachery and murder.

Blind Date starts with a woman involved in a minor traffic accident. The police find $125,000 in her suitcase. The woman was supposed to deliver that money somewhere and now Casey is going to deliver it instead. It’s a good plan, if it works. Another solid episode.

The Come Back is a racetrack crime story involving counterfeit betting slips. Casey thinks she’s figured out how it’s being worked but she has to go undercover, as a crooked cop. This is another character-driven drama with Casey finding as so often that the case revolves around all-too-common human weaknesses. A good story.

First Arrest is a semi-comic episode. Casey is talking to a young policewoman who has just made her first arrest and feels bad about it so Casey recounts the slightly farcical and slightly sordid story of her own first arrest and how it made her feel that she was using and manipulating people (which in fact she was but that’s what the job is all about). An OK episode at best.

The Lost Ones starts with Casey visiting girl just out of reform school. Casey hopes she’s going to be OK now but it’s not to be. Elsa has shot and killed her violent, drunken father. And now she’s armed and on the run. This is a dysfunctional family drama, with the question being whether the dysfunctionality is going to destroy the whole family. As usual with Decoy the emphasis is not on Casey solving a crime but on her attempts to help people put their lives back together.

Final Thoughts

Decoy is hampered a little by the half-hour format but it still manages to be an emotionally grown-up and very engaging character-driven cop drama. And Beverly Garland is terrific. Very highly recommended.

The Avengers – A Touch of Brimstone

Yes, this is it, the infamous banned episode of The Avengers, A Touch of Brimstone. Or at least it was banned by the network in the US during the initial run of the series there. It was screened in Britain in February 1966, despite censorship difficulties, and became the most-watched episode of the series. The censorship difficulties were caused by Mrs Peel’s notorious appearance as the Queen of Sin, and most of all by the scene in which Mrs Peel is whipped.

It’s also famous for featuring one of the great Peter Wyngarde’s finest performances.

It all starts with a series of pranks. The pranks are the sort of thing that would appeal to teenaged boys except that the victims are public figures, often foreign diplomats, and they’re causing all sorts of international repercussions.

Steed has a strong suspect in mind, the Honourable John Cleverly Cartney (Peter Wyngarde), a clever but dissolute minor aristocrat. Cartney has revived the Hellfire Club. There were in fact several real-life Hellfire Clubs in Britain during the 18th century, the most famous being the one established by Sir Francis Dashwood in 1749. They were places in which young gentlemen could indulge themselves in all manner of debauchery and libertinage.

Cartney’s club has the same aims as the original Hellfire Clubs – debauchery with political overtones.

Steed thinks he can get a lead through the young and foolish Lord Darcy, one of Cartney’s cronies. Mrs Peel’s job is to get close to Cartney. She certainly has no trouble attracting his attention. And no trouble getting invited to a meeting of the Hellfire Club.

Steed of course will have to join the Hellfire Club as well, and go through the initiation.

You won’t be surprised to learn that Cartney is planning something much more ambitious than a club for drinking and wenching.

We get some fine fight scenes, including a sword-fight and including Mrs Peel memorably (and wittily) despatching one of the bad guys while dressed in her bondage costume. And of course there’s the whipping scene, which is more a case of Cartney trying to whip Mrs peel rather than actual whipping her.

There’s as much implied sexuality as you could get away with in Britain in 1966 (and obvious a lot more than you could get away with in the US) but I suspect that it was the all-pervasive atmosphere of sex and decadence that sent the American network into a panic rather than any one particular element.

The eighteenth-century costumes are great and the Hellfire Club set is wonderful (especially with the snake slithering about). The opening scene with the chair moving toward the camera establishes an atmosphere of mystery right from the start and provides Peter Wyngarde with a great entrance.

Diana Rigg is very sexy in her bondage outfit and gives another fine performance. Mrs Peel seems genuinely disturbed by the Hellfire Club which gives the episode a sense that this time she and Steed really are up against not just regular bad guys but something truly evil – a villain who glories in his immorality and cruelty.

Steed gets plenty of heroic stuff to do with both swords and umbrellas.

Look out for Carol Cleveland (a regular on Monty Python’s Flying Circus) as Cartney’s girlfriend Sara.

Naturally it’s Peter Wyngarde who steals the show. Nobody could do decadence the way Peter Wyngarde could. Wyngarde would go on to make another memorable appearance in the series in Epic. He would gain much greater fame in Department S and Jason King but I don\’t think he ever did anything better than A Touch of Brimstone.

James Hill directed. He directed some of the best-known episodes of The Avengers, including The Forget-Me-Knot, Something Nasty in the Nursery and one of my favourite episodes from the Tara King era, Look – (Stop Me If You\’ve Heard This One) But There Were These Two Fellers… There’s a publicity still for A Touch of Brimstone showing Mrs Peel as the Queen of Sin holding Hill on a leash.

A Touch of Brimstone was written by Brian Clemens who needs no introduction to readers of this blog.

Mrs Peel’s fetish-inspired Queen of Sin costume, consisting of a corset, long black boots with stiletto heels and a dog collar with three-inch spikes, was designed by Diana Rigg herself. And I haven’t mentioned her snake.

There’s real villainy here but there’s plenty of humour as well. The Avengers had a knack of striking just the right balance, never taking itself too seriously but never quite descending into mere silliness. It was an outrageous series but it was outrageousness done with wit and style in a manner that modern television simply cannot replicate.

A Touch of Brimstone effortlessly lives up to its reputation. Very highly recommended.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. season 2 (1965-66)

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. was more than just a hit TV series. It was a bona fide pop culture phenomenon. But only for a short time. Meddling by the network resulted in the disastrous third season from which the series was unable to recover and it was cancelled midway through the fourth season. But the second season (which is what we’re concerned with at the moment) which was launched in late 1965 saw the series riding very high indeed in the ratings.

The second season was the first to be shot in colour. The formula was mostly the same as season one, with perhaps a slightly more light-hearted tone. It was not quite as good as season one but it was still very very good. The first two seasons featured often outlandish plots and outrageous villains but the series was not an out-and-out spoof. It was closer in tone to the 1960s Bond movies and to The Avengers. Most spy fans would probably agree that no spy series has ever been able to match the subtle surrealism, the sophisticated playfulness, the wit and the style that The Avengers achieved at its peak. That might be so but in its first two seasons The Man from U.N.C.L.E. goes very very close indeed to matching The Avengers in these areas. 1960s spy television doesn’t get much better than this.

One of the trademarks of the series in its first season was that a typical storyline would revolve around some poor innocent bystander caught up in the world of espionage and that device was used extensively in the second series as well.

With the success of the early Bond movies gadgets had become an essential feature of spy stories. The gadgets in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. are remarkably clever in seeming to be suitably high-tech while involving almost nothing in the way of budgetary outlays.

Production values are high by the standards of the day and the sets are often quite inspired. In its early days at least the series had considerable cachet and had no trouble attracting some very fine guest stars. It all adds up to an aura of classiness and quality. The emphasis was on fun, but very well-crafted fun.

Like The Avengers this is a series that perfectly captures the spirit of a very brief moment in history. In 1965 the Swinging 60s were still swinging but hadn’t yet turned weird and crazy. Style and energy were everything. And The Man from U.N.C.L.E. had a great deal of style. By 1967 the Flower Children had arrived and style started to go out the window.

On the subject of style, it’s interesting to look at the two leads. Robert Vaughn plays Napoleon Solo very much as a sophisticated late 1950s American hero. Always impeccably groomed, with clothes that are sharp but conservative. It is impossible to imagine Napoleon Solo wearing jeans. Illya looks more like a 1960s hero, but very much an early 60s hero. His clothes are very 60s but he’s still very neat and well-groomed. Within a very few years both Napoleon and Illya would look decidedly retro. And Napoleon’s suave style with the ladies would seem very retro.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. was one of the two great American spy series of the 60s, the other being of course Mission: Impossible. While the plots of Mission: Impossible were so outrageous as to challenge credibility it was played very straight. The Man from U.N.C.L.E. was tongue-in-cheek from the start. But the two series do have a number of things in common, things which were characteristic of the best American television of the 60s – they were fast-moving, exciting, polished and very very stylish. And in their very different ways both series were exceptionally cool.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. inspired something of a merchandising bonanza with a wide assortment of toys and similar products. There were also a couple of dozen tie-in novels, which sold by the truckload. They were all original stories and some of them are pretty good. I reviewed The Dagger Affair here a while back. There were also Man from U.N.C.L.E. comics, several young adult novels and a series of novellas published in the Man from U.N.C.L.E. magazine. And of course there was a spin-off series, the ill-fated but somewhat underrated The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.

Episode Guide

Alexander the Greater Affair is a two-parter. A tycoon named Alexander sees himself as a modern Alexander the Great. He intends to achieve world domination and his theft of a new top-secret nerve gas that destroys the will to fight is part of his plan. Along the way he also intends to break all of the Ten Commandments. Having lost a game of chess to Napoleon Solo he is also out for revenge and he plans his destruction of our heroes like a chess game. It’s a story that uses lots of clichés from pulp fiction and old movie serials, with buried ancient tombs, secret passageways, fiendish booby traps and a nod to Edgar Allan Poe with a razor-sharp axe on a slowly lowering pendulum. The obligatory innocent bystander caught up in this adventure is Alexander\’s estranged wife Tracey (played with panache by Dorothy Provine) and she causes Mr Solo and Mr Kuryakin almost as much trouble as Alexander.

The Foxes and Hounds Affair utilises one of the standard tropes of the first season – the innocent bystander who gets hopelessly entangled in a case. A stage magician has invented a mind-reading machine. U.N.C.L.E. wants it and naturally so does THRUSH. U.N.C.L.E. has it at the moment but they have to get it back to their New York headquarters. Mr Waverley decides that a decoy would be useful. That’s where magician’s assistant Mimi Doolittle comes in. She’s the decoy although she doesn’t know it. Napoleon Solo doesn’t know what’s going on either. That’s Mr Waverley’s idea also – if Mr Solo is in danger of having his mind read it’s best if he has no idea what is going on.

The real fun in this episode is the rivalry between local THRUSH chiefs, the suave Victor Marton (Vincent Price) and the glamorous but ruthless Lucia Belmont (Patricia Medina). They’re both trying to sabotage each other in order to gain a promotion. There’s some wonderful witty dialogue in this episode. There are no spectacular sets or fancy gadgets. With Vincent Price and Patricia Medina in such sparkling form such distractions are not needed. A very very fine episode.

In The Arabian Affair Ilya does a Lawrence of Arabia thing and leads an Arab revolt against THRUSH. THRUSH are using their desert base to develop a vaporizer – a disintegrator ray type of thing. Quite a fun episode.

The Deadly Toys Affair is a bit of a romp. There’s one particularly brilliant pupil at an exclusive private school that U.N.C.L.E. are worried about. THRUSH has plans to groom the youngster for a career of evil with them. Angela Lansbury gets to do some splendid overacting as the outrageous Elfie van Donck. A silly but very enjoyable episode.

The Cherry Blossom Affair takes Mr Solo and Mr Kuryakin to Japan where they have to investigate repots that THUSH have developed a way to control the power volcanoes. An excellent episode that strikes just the right balance.

The Children’s Day Affair involves a THRUSH school for young assassins. A very good episode, with good use of the settings (supposedly Switzerland) and with just the right amount of outrageousness. Great performances by the supporting cast in this one, with Warren Stevens subtly unhinged as the school’s headmaster and Jeanne Cooper totally and delightfully perverse as Mother Fear (whose henchmen are very loyal because if they aren’t she gives them a dose of the strap). Susan Silo is fun as a ditzy Italian social worker. Everything works in this one.

In The Indian Affairs Affair THRUSH is working on a thermonuclear bomb at their base concealed on an Indian reservation. THRUSH is putting pressure on the chief through his daughter, an exotic dancer in New York. U.N.C.L.E. are also trying to use the daughter to influence the chief. An OK episode.

The Birds and the Bees Affair is rather fun, wth THRUSH employing swarms of killer bees to wipe out its enemies. There’s also a deadly sound machine, a crooked roulette wheel and a well-meaning but crazy scientist. Mr Kuryakin learns to dance, which he enjoys very much. That might have something to do with the very pretty dance instructress. He has to get to know her in the line of duty. Sometimes doing one’s duty can be remarkably pleasant. The premise is outlandish but clever. It’s classic Man from U.N.C.L.E. stuff.

Where would 1960s action/adventure television be without Nazis? They’re the ultimate reliable standby. In The Re-Collectors Affair a shadowy organisation is hunting down and killing ex-Nazis to retrieve stolen paintings. The paintings are restored to their rightful owners. Sometimes. And at a price. A high price. There is one very puzzling aspect to this case, which of course turns out to be the key. This is typical early Man from U.N.C.L.E. – the camp factor is pretty much non-existent. It’s a fairly neat story done in a reasonably straightforward spy thriller manner and it works very well.

The Deadly Goddess Affair takes Napoleon and Ilya to the Island of Circe in the Mediterranean, to intercept a THRUSH radio-controlled aircraft carrying secret plans and money. They get drawn into various local dramas. Mia Corragio wants to marry but she cannot do so until her older sister Angela gets married – it is the local custom. But no-one will marry Angela without a dowry. Except maybe a rich American might do so. And that nice Mr Solo is obviously a rich American. The two U.N.C.L.E. agents also get drawn into the plans of the Corragio girls’ impoverished father’s plans to sell antiquities to visiting rich Americans. It all becomes outrageously farcical, and a great deal of fun. The ludicrously sinister THRUSH agent Colonel Hubris adds even more enjoyment to the mix. A delightfully entertaining episode.

The Round Table Affair concerns a tiny European principality with curiously has no extradition treaties with any other countries. Which is why a collection of assorted gangsters plans to take over. Arranging a suitably advantageous (advantageous for the gangsters) marriage for the Grand Duchess is part of the plan. U.N.C.L.E. must prevent this. Much medieval-flavoured silliness ensues and it’s rather good fun.

You can’t really go wrong with a spy thriller set on board a train so The Adriatic Express Affair has that going for it for starters. Solo and Kuryakin are trying to get their hands on  a virus culture which THRUSH can use as the ultimate weapon – it destroys the human urge to reproduce. It’s in the hands of Madame Olga Nemirovitch, the ageing but glamorous owner of a cosmetics empire. She also claims to have been the founder of THRUSH. In typical Man from U.N.C.L.E. style there is an innocent caught in the middle – a young assistant named Eva from one of Madame’s beauty salons. Madame convinces her that Napoleon is a dangerous THRUSH agent who must be stopped at all costs. This one throws in every thriller-on-a-train trope in existence. There’s even a fight scene on the roof of a carriage. Jessie Royce Landis overacts outrageously as Madame while Juliet Mills is delightful as the naïve Eva. This story offers non-stop fast-paced fun with just enough outlandishness to provide superb entertainment value.

If you were a secret criminal organisation like THRUSH and you had something (like the ultimate computer) that you wanted to protect in a kind of fortress with lots of guns and guards then what better place to choose than a prison, which is already a kind of fortress with lots of guns and guards. That’s the idea behind The Ultimate Computer Affair. In order to get into this prison (in South America) Illya gets himself arrested and Napoleon poses as the English upper-class twit husband of a prison inspector. It’s a fun fast-paced romp.

The Waverly Ring Affair is a relatively straightforward spy thriller story. There’s a traitor within U.N.C.L.E. and the situation is so serious that Mr Waverly has issued Mr Solo with a Waverly Ring, which ensures instant unquestioning obedience from any U.N.C.L.E. agent. But it seems that someone else has a Waverly Ring. And an U.N.C.L.E. has to be de-trained, a process that erases all memories of his employment with the organisation. It’s a very extreme step. Solo and Kuryakin have to find the traitor but they’re not if they can trust anyone at all. This one is played fairly straight with only a few tongue-in-cheek touches. A good episode.

The Bat Cave Affair is quite goofy, with Martin Landau overacting outrageously as a Transylvanian count with a plan to disrupt international air traffic with bats. Vampire bats of course. Illya had enough to deal with getting away from the bull. U.N.C.L.E. gets some help from a hillbilly girl with clairvoyant powers. It’s silly but it’s fun.

In The Discotheque Affair Napoleon, injured during an investigation, finds himself on light duties keeping an eye on some property owned by U.N.C.L.E., the property being next door to U.N.C.L.E. headquarters. One of the tenants, a ditzy blonde actress, is causing problems. The building also includes a discotheque which is actually a front for THRUSH. As is so many of the early season episodes we have an innocent bystander (the ditzy blonde actress) caught up in the middle of a case. This episode features go-go dancing and as far as I’m concerned any movie or TV show that includes groovy 60s chicks go-go dancing (especially cage dancing) is A-OK. And overall it’s a fun episode.

In The Dippy Blonde Affair the innocent bystander drawn into the world of espionage is not quite so innocent as most. JoJo has been a bit of a bad girl. She has a very long and colourful police record. She’s the girlfriend of a senior THRUSH official. But she is willing to help U.N.C.L.E. so that’s something. And the local THRUSH chief (her boyfriend’s superior) is madly in love with her. The THRUSH headquarters in the graveyard is a highlight. Napoleon and Ilya manage to get themselves captured over and over again. It’s a non-stop thoroughly enjoyable romp and JoJo is a delight.

In The Virtue Affair a M. Robespierre, a descendant of the infamous Robespierre, having run unsuccessfully for the presidency of France (on a platform of banning wine) now seems to be contemplating more direct method. He has been accumulating missile components, and missile scientists.

In The Project Deephole Affair THRUSH is trying to kidnap a geologist but they become convinced that Buzz Conway is that geologist. In fact Buzz Conway is a one-time used car salesman, encyclopaedia salesman and blackjack dealer, unemployed and trying to dodge debt collectors. So it’s another example of the innocent bystander caught up in a spy drama of which he understands nothing. Jack Weston is fun as Conway while Barbara Bouchet is delightful as the glamorous but hopelessly self-absorbed THRUSH superspy Narcissus Darling.

The Tigers Are Coming Affair takes Napoleon and Illya to India where Prince Panat is causing U.N.C.L.E. some concern. Missing villagers, that sort of thing. U.N.C.L.E. enlists the help of glamorous French botanist Suzanne de Serre (Jill Ireland). Napoleon and Illya join a tiger hunt, but are they the hunters or the hunted? A reasonably good episode.

In The Foreign Legion Affair Illya has to make quick escape from an aircraft, by parachute, over the desert. Now when you have to jump to save your life you obviously look for something you can grab quickly to take with you, something that will help you survive the cold nights of the desert. So naturally Illya grabs the pretty blonde stewardess. Having landed in the desert they find themselves prisoners of war of the French Foreign Legion, suspected of being spies. Illya tries to explain to the commandant, Captain Basil Calhoun that the Legion doesn’t exist any more but Captain Calhoun begs to differ. It soon becomes obvious to Illya and his little stewardess friend that Captain Calhoun is quite mad and getting to Marrakesh, where they need to go, may be a challenge. Napoleon meanwhile falls into the hands of THRUSH but luckily there’s a pretty girl in a cute harem outfit to make his captivity a little bit more bearable. Overall this episode is pretty slight but reasonably enjoyable.

The Very Important Zombie Affair takes Solo and Kuryakin to a small Caribbean nation where they have to rescue an opposition leader, a man named Delgado, from the evil president, El Supremo. The problem is that El Supremo has turned Delgado into a zombie. They’re going to have to find a voodoo priestess to solve that problem. Of course there’s a glamorous but ditzy female to help them, a manicurist from Louisiana. I just love anything with voodoo and zombies so I was always going to like this one, even if the surprise ending is not that much of a surprise.

The Minus-X Affair sees THRUSH getting hold of a drug called Plus-X which not only enhances the senses to an extraordinary degree but seems to enhance the intelligence as well. If you’re good at something and you take this drug suddenly you’re better at that something than anyone else in the world. THRUSH has found a use for Plus-X which could have disastrous consequences. There’s also a variant called Minus-X which has other interesting effects. There’s a brilliant scientist whose loyalties may be suspect and there’s a beautiful girl (the scientist’s daughter) whom THRUSH intends to use as a bargaining counter. It’s a very solid episode with plenty of classic Man from U.N.C.L.E. elements.

Final Thoughts

My review of the first season of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. can be found here. The second season might not be quite as good but it’s very nearly so and it\’s still superb spy adventure television with all the right ingredients perfectly combined. Highly recommended.

Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex, 1st Gig

Ghost in the Shell started life as a manga by Shirow Masamune. In 1995 the Ghost in the Shell movie was released. It was something of a ground-breaking event in the history of anime science fiction movies and remains one of the best entries in the genre. A sequel movie followed in 2004. But the incarnation we are concerned with here is the 2002 television series Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex. Interestingly, it doesn’t take place in quite the same timeline as the original movie.

The protagonist in all the various versions of Ghost in the Shell is Major Motoko Kusanagi, the number one field operative for Public Security Section 9. Section 9 is a top-secret counter-intelligence counter-terrorism outfit. Section 9 handles cases that are too sensitive or too dangerous for any other Japanese Government agencies. In this near-future world that means mostly counter-terrorism work and that work mostly involves artificial intelligences. It also means tangling with other intelligence agencies and getting involved in some nasty political infighting.

It should be explained first of all that Major Motoko Kusanagi is not entirely human. She is a cyborg but she is much more robot than human. In fact there’s there’s only one human thing about her. She still has a human brain. Which means she still has a ghost. Ghost in this context refers to the essential core of our personalities and most importantly it refers to our memories. Our human memories. Whether the ghost is also a soul or not is a question to which no-one in this future world can give a definite answer. What matters is that it is the ghost that makes us human. The body is just the shell. The Major has a ghost. Is that enough to make her a woman rather than a machine? She thinks that it is, but she’s not sure.

The concept of the ghost and its relationship to the shell was at the core of the original movie and it’s a theme that is elaborated upon in many different ways in the Stand Alone Complex TV series.

There are two kinds of episodes in this series. There are the Stand Alone episodes and there are the Complex episodes. The Complex episodes form part of an ongoing story arc. While the Stand Alone episodes are self-contained stories they also contribute to the gradual building up of our understanding of this cyberpunk future world, of the main characters, and in particular to our understanding of Motoko Kusanagi’s contradictory and slightly troubled personality.

While the Major was very much the central character in the original movie there are many episodes of the series in which she takes a back seat.

Special mention must be made of the great opening and closing songs composed by Yôko Kanno.

If you haven’t delved much into anime the Ghost in the Shell franchise is not a bad place to start – there’s plenty of intelligent and complex science fiction ideas without too much weirdness and there’s plenty of action. Since it takes place in a subtly different timeline you could watch the TV series before watching the movie, but both are equally worth seeing. There are other excellent science fiction anime series (such as Cowboy Bebop) but some of them tend a bit too much towards giant robots or they’re mind-numbingly complex (such as the superb Serial Experiments Lain).

Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex is very much in the cyberpunk mould. Some of the violence is quite graphic and there is a small amount of nudity. Whether anime nudity bothers you or appeals to you is a matter of taste but there’s very little of it and there’s no sexual weirdness although there are some sexual themes. The violence is much less extreme than that found in some anime TV such as Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress.

This is anime for grown-ups and in any case is going to be way too complex and cerebral for younger kids.

The coolness factor is very high.

Cyberpunk is a genre that you might think would date very quickly but good cyberpunk (and this series is definitely very good cyberpunk) actually doesn’t date because it’s not really concerned about the details of how technology works. It’s more concerned with the social and existential consequences of technology.

The DVD boxed set offers both the English dubbed version and the Japanese language version with English subtitles.

Episode Guide

The first episode gives us a hostage drama with the terrorists being geisha robots(!) and a senior government minister being one of the victims. He isn’t killed but something worse happens to him.

The second episode is another standalone. A new advanced multiped tank runs amok and heads for the city. Section 9 needs to know who is controlling that tank and what it is they want. It doesn’t seem to be a terrorist incident. The tank has been careful to avoid human fatalities. A curiously bitter-sweet episode.

Episode three is more interesting still. There’s a wave of mass suicides, among androids. To be specific, among a particular model of female sex robot. The Jeri model had been extremely popular but is now out of production. However the Jeri still has its hardcore fans who are addicted to its particular charms. But why would someone want to destroy these sexbots? Because this is a case of mass murder, not mass suicide. Of course robots cannot actually be murdered, or commit suicide for that matter. They’re not human and they don’t have real feelings. Unless of course the rumours are true, that some androids have ghosts. Which means they may in fact be alive. Whatever alive means, and there’s no certainty about the meaning of that term in this world.

Episode four begins a series of complex episodes concerning the Laughing Man, a super-hacker cyber-terrorist. The story is however much more complex than that. The Laughing Man may or may not exist. He may be several people. Or several groups of people, or organisations. His motives are completely unknown. It’s an actually an old unsolved case but Section 9 now has some ambiguous evidence that might justify reopening. And in fact the case is about to become a very live case. This is full-on cyberpunk stuff and it’s very nicely executed.

In episode seven Section 9 is concerned about a foreign revolutionary leader who has been the subject of countless assassination attempts. So many that it seems a miracle he’s still alive. This story is another exploration of posthumanist themes and more specifically the psychological dimensions of posthumanism.

Episode eight deals with organ harvesting. This is a future in which artificial organs are available but there’s still a market for actual organs. This is a story with personal significance for the Major, bringing back childhood memories (and memories are incredibly important to her given that they’re the one truly human thing about her).

Episode nine takes place entirely in an internet chat room as Motoko tries to find more clues to the Laughing Man case. Of course what happens is what you’d expect in an internet forum – lots of conspiracy theories being tossed around. Some of them might be true. They might all be true. They might all be false. In the internet age can we know the truth about anything?

In episode ten Batou must confront ghosts from his own past as Section 9 hunts a particularly savage serial killer. They’re getting coöperation (of a sort) from the CIA but they begin to suspect that this killer may have been created by the CIA as part of a particularly nasty phase of the Third World War.

In episode eleven Togusa goes undercover in a clinic that treats children with cyberbrain closed shell syndrome, a kind of cyberpunk autism thing. These children are being used for something, but what? And is it connected to the Laughing Man case?

In episode twelve one of the tachikomas wanders off on its own and befriends a little girl who is looking for her lost dog. And the tachikoma finds a cyberbrain which causes great consternation in Section 9.

In episode thirteen a young girl kidnapped by the terrorist anti-cybernetic Human Evolutionary Front reappears sixty years late, looking not a day older. Section 9 has to assault an abandoned floating factory complex and what they find is more than a little disturbing. In this future world there is clearly tension between those in favour of cybernetics and those bitterly opposed to it on ideological grounds. A very good episode.

In episode fourteen Section 9 is investigating a financier whose transactions, on an enormous scale, are causing some concern. The Major also has to deal with a young lady who is actually a yakuza battle cyborg, but what the yakuza’s interest is in this matter remains to be seen. A good episode.

In episode fifteenth Major decides that the tachikomas are becoming a problem. They’re starting to show signs of individuality, which is not supposed to happen. They’re starting to take an interest in philosophical and even theological questions. They’re supposed to be reliable weapons systems and she’s not convinced they can be trusted if they’re questioning the nature of the cosmos and the existence of God. Maybe they’ll have to be dismantled but that’s going to be tricky. The tachikomas are very good at surveillance. How will they react if they find out? Not much action in this story, in fact one at all, but it does deal with one of the recurring themes of the series – the relationship between humans and robots.

Episode sixteen focuses on Batou. He has to investigate a former champion boxer named Zaitsev, suspected of espionage. Batou finds this mission to be emotionally draining. He admires Zaitsev but at the same time despises him for dishonouring himself.

In episode seventeen Motoko and the Chief are in London for a counterterrorism conference. The Chief is asked for help by a lady friend whose bank may have become involved in Mafia money-laundering. The bank is robbed and the robbers take the Chief and his lady friend hostage and then events take several unexpected turns. The British police turn down Motoko’s offer of help but needless to say that doesn’t stop her. A very clever plot with some nice twists. Excellent episode.

In episode eighteen there’s an assassination plot against a visiting Chinese government official, with some personal complications for Aramaki (the Chief of Section 9) involving an old friend, now deceased.

Episode nineteen involves a fiendishly complicated plot to kidnap girls, apparently for organ harvesting. One of the kidnapped girls is the daughter of the former prime minister but everything hinges on whether the kidnappers knew that. And on the relationship between the ex-PM and the Northern Territories Mafia. Is there a double-cross going on? A good episode.

Episode twenty is a Complex episode, another instalment in the Laughing Man saga. Things are becoming more and more paranoid with a number of government agencies involved in trying to suppress a vaccine for a cyberbrain vaccine. Togusa thinks he has a lead but he may not know what he’s getting himself into.

Episode twenty-one is another Complex episode, with Section 9 in conflict with the narc squad. And when I say conflict I mean they’re shooting at each other. It’s all connected with that vaccine.

Episode twenty-two is also a Complex episode, with more on the conflict with the narc squad. Someone is trying to get at Aramaki and their methods are pretty ruthless. Major Kusanagi has a slight problem. Her body is completely kaput so she needs a new one and you have no idea how embarrassing a procedure that can be. It can make a girl quite annoyed and when the Major is annoyed it’s best to keep clear.

Episode twenty-three is a very talky explanatory episode giving more details of the conspiracy involving medical micromachines and cyberbrain vaccines, and the kidnapping of the head of Serano Genomics which may or may not have been connected with the Laughing Man.

In episode twenty-four Section 9 itself is under siege as a result of corrupt political machinations. It’s a fight for survival. Lots of action in this stand alone episode. I can’t say anything at all about the plotlines of the final three episodes without revealing spoilers. All I will say is that at the end it gets quite existential and starts to seriously confront the consequences of living in an artificial information-saturated society.

Final Thoughts

Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex is complex grown-up science fiction (although it’s certainly not without humour and light-hearted moments). And there’s no shortage of action. Very highly recommended.

It\’s available on both DVD and Blu-Ray in boxed sets which also include the second season (or 2nd Gig).

Mission: Impossible (TV tie-in novel)

Considering how successful the series was it’s a little surprising that Mission: Impossible spawned only four TV tie-in novels (all of which were original stories). The first of these was Mission: Impossible by John Tiger. John Tiger was a pseudonym used by Walter Wager (1924-2004). I believe he also wrote I Spy TV tie-in novels.

This first tie-in novel is interesting because it’s based on the first season of the TV series, which means the Impossible Missions Force is led by Dan Briggs (played on TV by Steven Hill) rather than the better-known Mr Phelps of the subsequent seasons. Which is OK by me because the first season happens to be my favourite – I liked the fact that Dan Briggs seemed nothing at all like the popular idea of a secret agent. He could be an accountant, or a pharmacist. I’ve always imagined real spies as being like that – very very ordinary-seeming people.

Mr Briggs gets his instructions in the usual way. He has to go to a particular office at a particular time where a tape-recorded message awaits him. The latest assignment for the IMF is to catch two wanted Nazi war criminals and foil a plan to manufacture a madness-inducing gas. The mission will take the IMF to the small (and of course mythical) South American republic of Santilla. The two Nazis (who are evil mad scientist types) have constructed a secret laboratory on an island in a lake. The laboratory is just about impregnable.

You won’t be surprised to learn that for this mission Mr Briggs selects his four most reliable agents – master of disguise Rollin Hand, weightlifter Willy Armitage, technical expert Barney Collier and of course the ever-glamorous model Cinnamon Carter.

Dan Briggs believes that this will be such a tough mission that it is advisable to have not one but two elaborate plans.

The five members of the IMF arrive in Santilla with their covers in place. Dan Briggs is posing as a Texas oil man. Cinnamon Carter is a beautiful American woman on the prowl for rich men. Rollin Hand poses as an Arab Prince, with Barney as his aide-de-camp and Willy as his bodyguard.

Plan A goes badly wrong so Briggs switches to Plan B. Plan B is based (like any good IMF plan) on deception and it is also based on the use of fear as a weapon. Fear leads people to make mistakes and the IMF needs the two Nazis to make a few mistakes.

Nazi plots were a staple of both American and British action-adventure series in the 1960s. In the world of 1960s television Nazis were all-powerful, they were everywhere and they were constantly about to establish the Fourth Reich.

The book is a bit more cynical about the US Government than the TV series. It is admitted in the book that the US Government is happy to support military juntas (even brutal ones such as Santilla) because it’s good for American business. It’s only one throwaway line but it’s a hint of cynicism that would never have been permitted in the TV series.

In one respect the author misses the point of the TV series. Mission: Impossible was the most relentlessly plot-driven series in television history. There is less characterisation in this series than in any other series ever made. This was a deliberate choice. Nothing was to distract the viewer from the plot. It was vital for the audience to know nothing about the regular characters. This presents an author with difficulties. Writers, even writers of pulp thrillers, want to tell us at least something abut the characters to bring them to life. So the author provides the five IMF members with backstories and emotions. This is a very big mistake. It’s not a fatal error but it is a definite error.

He even throws in a hint of romance between Briggs and Cinnamon, an ever bigger mistake. The entire point of the series was that the IMF members are professionals whose survival depends on having no emotional involvement whatsoever. Their personal lives are rigidly separated from their professional lives. If Dan Briggs had had any inkling that Cinnamon was interested in him romantically he’d have fired her. He’d have had no choice. Spies cannot afford such luxuries. Emotions lead to errors of judgment and errors of judgment get people killed and (even worse) can prejudice the success of the mission.

The other major difference from the TV series is that there’s a lot more violence in the book. The avoidance of unnecessary violence was another key element in the TV series. If someone has to be killed it’s better to manipulate his own people into killing him. It’s crucial that the IMF should not leave a trail of death and destruction behind them – that sort of thing attracts attention and spies do not want to attract attention.

There’s also slightly more emphasis on sex. In the TV series it’s hard to imagine a scene in which Cinnamon is bound and gagged stark naked but we get such a scene in the book. I can understand the author’s decision to add a bit more sex and violence – readers expected spy thrillers (unlike TV series in the 60s) to have those ingredients.

One of the things that made Mission: Impossible such a good series was its realism. Real-life spies don’t run around with guns – spies who run around with guns will only get themselves into trouble. Spies rely on deception and manipulation. That’s why Cinnamon Carter is the most realistic female spy in TV history. If she gets into trouble she doesn’t reach for her gun (she doesn’t carry one because they terrify her) and she doesn’t rely on her martial arts skills (she has none). She talks her way out of trouble. If that doesn’t work she turns on the sex appeal, or appeals to the bad guys’ sense of chivalry. She does what it takes to survive and she knows that trying to shoot or fight her way out of a situation will just put her in more danger.

So there are a few unfortunate minor departures from the spirit of the TV series. On the plus side it has to be said that Wager understood that the key to the TV series was elaborate plots based on deception and he provides us with just that. The fear campaign against the ex-Nazi colonel is clever and it’s absolutely consistent with the methods the IMF uses in the TV series.

Wager also understands the importance of giving each IMF team member a role based on that character’s special abilities – Barney gets to fiddle with high-tech gadgetry, Briggs uses his planning skills, Rollin uses disguise, Willy makes good use of his unusual strength and Cinnamon uses her considerable skill in the art of seduction. Apart from the excessively high body count this does feel like a real IMF adventure. And on the whole the characters behave the way they should. Rollin lives on his nerves but that’s what brings out the best in him. Barney remains cool if any of his gadgets malfunction – he has absolute confidence that he will eventually get them to work. Dan Briggs is methodical and utterly ruthless. Cinnamon is equally ruthless in her use of her sex appeal.

On the whole it all works and it captures the atmosphere of the TV series more successfully than most such novels. It’s fast-paced and the plot feels like a Mission: Impossible plot. It’s all very enjoyable and highly recommended.

The review of this book at Glorious Trash is also worth checking out.

The Professionals season two (1978)

The Professionals, which was screened in Britain on ITV between 1977 and 1983, was another series created by Brian Clemens whose output at the time was prodigious.

At the time the series was somewhat controversial for both the levels of violence and the levels of political incorrectness. The fact that it depicts a fictional intelligence-counter terrorist agency that effectively operates above the law and uses methods of extreme ruthlessness also made some people uneasy.

In fact of course there were plenty of contemporary TV series (in both Britain and the US) that portrayed government agencies acting with a sublime disregard of both national and international law but there was a difference – series like Callan and Special Branch took a rather critical look at agencies such as MI5 and MI6 while The Professionals clearly takes the view that disregarding the laws of the land is a jolly good thing.

But that’s perhaps a bit unfair. As season two progresses we get a couple of episodes which look at the dangers of abuses of power, at both high levels and lower levels. So what seems at first to be a purely action-oriented series starts to develop a bit of nuance.

The Professionals deals with an agency called CI5 and focuses on the agency’s chief, Cowley (Gordon Jackson) and his two top operatives, Bodie (Lewis Collins) and Doyle (Martin Shaw). The take-no-prisoners attitude of Bodie and Doyle quickly made them cult favourites.

The Sweeney (and before that the final two seasons of Special Branch) had changed the face of British television. Shooting in the studio was out, location shooting was in, and the emphasis was on non-stop action heavily laced with (by the standards of the time) fairly extreme violence. The Professionals adopted the same action-oriented approach.

There’s certainly no shortage of action and the action is consistently done well. This is an adrenaline-charged series. By this time British television had broken away completely from the shot-in-the-studio look – The Professionals features lots of great location shooting.

In the 60s American television series like Mannix and Hawaii Five-O has been much more action-driven that their British counterparts but from the mid-70s to the early 80s it was British television that set the pace when it came to action and violence. American series like Police Woman were considered quite violent in the US but they seem ridiculously tame compared to The Sweeney and The Professionals. That would change when Miami Vice exploded onto American TV screens in 1984.

The formula initially appears to be that Bodie and Doyle are the tough guys, the guys who handle assignments that are dirty and dangerous, but it’s the middle-aged Cowley who turns out to be the hardest of the three. He likes nothing better than getting the opportunity to demonstrate his tough guy credentials and psychologically he’s as hard as nails. It was a major change of pace for Gordon Jackson and he does a fine job.

The Professionals was hated by critics at the time and it attracted the ire of moral watchdogs for its celebration of violence. It was attacked for being too macho (even though it had legions of female fans who adored Bodie and Doyle) and too mindlessly action-oriented and nowadays it’s regarded as being almost as politically incorrect as The Sweeney. All the criticisms directed at it are true and that’s why it was so immensely popular and that’s why it still has a loyal following. Clemens knew what audiences wanted. Audiences knew what they wanted. British TV critics for the most part had no idea what audiences wanted and just hated anything that the public liked.

This series is disreputable and glories in its disreputable qualities. It’s outrageous fun.

But, having said all that, while some episodes are mindless escapist entertainment some do have some actual substance as well. The Professionals somehow manages to combine a roller-coaster ride of action and excitement with some surprisingly subtle and cynical scripts.

British spy series of this era (such as Callan) could be very cynical indeed with no real moral difference between the good guys and the bad guys and there’s a certain amount of that in The Professionals. Espionage and counter-espionage are very grubby games and no-one can play these games and have clean hands.

The ten episodes of the second season went to air in late 1978.

Episode Guide

In Hunter/Hunted Bodie and Doyle are testing a new sniper rifle. It has a laser gunsight which in 1978 was cutting edge technology. Unfortunately they manage to have the gun stolen from under their noses. For highly trained professionals their idea of security is pretty laughable. If they want to keep their jobs they’re going to have to get that rifle back. Given the way they conduct the case it might have been better if Cowley had simply fired them on the spot. Anthony Read’s script is as full of holes as a Swiss cheese. Bodie and Doyle are supposed to be the elite of the elite but the script relies on having them act as if they’re rookies straight out of Police College. I wouldn’t trust these two on traffic duty.

On the plus side it looks great, there’s some fine location shooting and there are a few superb action set-pieces. The acting is excellent and the repartee between Bodie and Doyle is consistently sparkling. All it needed to achieve greatness was a complete rewrite of the script.

The Rack is an interesting episode. CI5 conduct a raid on the mansion of the notorious Coogan brothers. Unfortunately the tip-off from an informer was wrong and they don’t find the drugs they expected to find. The complete lack of evidence doesn’t bother Cowley. He has both brothers interrogated and one of them, Paul Coogan, dies in custody. A court of enquiry is set up which, if it goes badly, may mean the disbanding of CI5.

What this episode is really all about is the question of whether outfits like CI5, which effectively operate outside the law, are justified or not. There’s no doubt that in this case they don’t have a leg to stand on. CI5 conducted a raid without a search warrant and interrogated suspects without allowing them legal counsel and in the process they killed one of the suspects.

What it’s all leading up to is Cowley’s passionate closing statement to the court of enquiry in which he argues that as unpleasant as it might be society needs organisations like CI5 and that protecting society cannot be done within the confines of the law. Whether you accept Cowley’s argument or not is up to you. We’re clearly expected to accept it but some viewers might have their doubts. You do have to remember that this was the 1970s when the idea that crime was out of control and that terrorism was a deadly threat made the idea of government agencies breaking the rules to combat such threats rather popular.

Of course the tension between the need for the rule of law and the need to protect society crops up in many police shows (and spy shows) of this era. And movies as well of course.

There’s also a problem for Doyle in this episode – he’s the one who killed Paul Coogan and he doesn’t feel too good about it.

In First Night an Israeli politician is kidnapped but it doesn’t seem to be politically motivated. It seems to be all about money. There’s some good sifting through clues in this story – it’s amazing the information you can get from a single photo. There’s a nice sense of urgency and some fairly good action scenes with the kidnappers using a hovercraft and a helicopter to make their escape. And Bodie makes an entrance worthy of The A-Team. A reasonably good episode.

Man Without a Past starts with a bombing in a London restaurant in which Bodie’s girlfriend is seriously injured. Maybe the bomb was intended for Bodie, or maybe for the couple who were supposed to have that table but cancelled at the last minute. Cowley orders Bodie off the case but of course Bodie ignores the order. The plot is a complicated spider-web of deception with multiple possible motives and three or four different sets of bad guys. A good episode.

In the Public Interest is a bit different from what you usually expect from this series – this time the bad guys are cops. Cowley has been alerted to the fact that the Chief Constable of a certain unnamed city has managed to reduce crime rates to a remarkable degree. Too remarkable. In fact this chief constable has turned his city into a miniature police state. The impressive arrest and conviction rates have been achieved by fabricating evidence and by extraordinary abuses of power. The police are also acting as moral policemen. He sends Doyle and Bodie in to find some hard evidence and they’re lucky to get out alive.

This is one of the rare occasions when the series get into some social commentary, raising interesting questions about whether law and order is worth it if means the loss of freedom and also questions about the potential for abuse of power when the police are given too much power. So it’s actually a lot more relevant today than it was in 1978. A pretty powerful episode.

In Rogue Barry Martin, CI5’s first recruit and the man who trained Bodie and Doyle, goes rogue. They’re going to have to hunt him down which won’t be easy since he’s as good as they are. Unfortunately it’s obvious from the start that Martin is a bad ’un but there’s some decent action. A so-so episode.

In Not a Very Civil Civil Servant CI5 are called in on a case involving corruption in the building industry. It’s not the sort of case they usually deal with and Cowley suspects that the government minister who called them in wants to manipulate him into helping with a cover-up. Which of course makes Cowley very annoyed indeed. So he decides that CI5 will dig a lot deeper than the minister intended. A fairly good episode with Cowley getting to do some action stuff and the script (by Edmund Ward) is pleasingly tight.

A Stirring of Dust is a story of elderly spies. Tom Darby (obviously a fictionalised version of Kim Philby) is an MI6 man who defected to the Soviets many years earlier. He has been living in retirement in Moscow. Now he’s vanished and both Cowley and the KGB think he’s returned to England. Why would he do something so stupid? Cowley doesn’t know but gradually an awful suspicion forms in his mind. The other problem is that England is full of elderly spies who believe that Darby betrayed them. They might be inclined to look for revenge. CI5 have to find Darby before he’s found by the KGB or by a bunch of geriatric British ex-spies.

It’s a solid spy story with the stirring up of ancient scandals and hatreds and some emotional dramas to add interest. It benefits from a great performance by Robert Urquhart as the rather sympathetic Darby, a man who still sincerely believes that his actions were justified. An episode with some psychological and moral complexities and there’s plenty of action as well. Great stuff.

Blind Run starts with Bodie and Doyle being given a mysterious mission. They have to escort a visiting diplomat but they have to do it unofficially. Cowley tells them they’re on their own, they can expect no backup and that officially the mission will never have happened. From that point on it’s a constant succession of car and boat chases, sieges and shoot-outs. And a constant succession of double-crosses and deceptions. This episode combines copious quantities of extremely well-staged action with a lot of cynicism. Excellent stuff.

Fall Girl is very cynical stuff. Somebody is trying to assassinate an East German diplomat and they intend to frame Bodie. Cowley has a fair idea of what’s going on but he’s going to have a tough job getting Bodie out of this. The trouble starts when Bodie runs into an old flame, who happens to be an East German actress who may or may not be a spy. Bodie spends most of the episode on the run. This is an episode in which the British are very much the bad guys. A great season-ender.

Final Thoughts

The second season starts a little bit unevenly but finishes very strongly indeed. Maybe not the best British spy series ever but certainly the most action-packed. On the whole it’s great stuff and highly recommended.

Thriller (1960) – four episodes

Thriller (AKA Boris Karloff Presents) screened on NBC from 1960 to 1962, was one of the legendary American anthology series of that era. What’s interesting about these series is that they all had their own distinctive flavours. Alfred Hitchcock Presents concentrated on crime stories with ironic stings in the tail. The Twilight Zone concentrated on unsettling stories of the weird and paranormal. The Outer Limits was science fiction generously laced with horror. Thriller started life as a mystery/suspense series in the Alfred Hitchcock Presents mould but quite early on the decision was made to move into overt horror but this was a gradual progression rather than a sudden change.

As a result of this what was great about Thriller was that you could never be quite sure if you were going to get supernatural horror or stories dealing purely with human evil. What makes the first season so interesting is that the early forays into horror are often stories that appear to be supernatural horror but turn out to have rational explanations but as the series progressed the supernatural starts to make its presence felt.

All of the American anthology series of that era have their strengths but Thriller had a visual style that was more flamboyant and more gothic than any of its rivals.

I’ve picked four episodes from the first half of the first season to talk about today.

The Purple Room

The Purple Room (written and directed by Douglas Heyes) has a classic much-used setup for a haunted house story. Duncan Corey (Rip Torn) has inherited an old house called Black Oak from his brother. The house is in the middle of an area slated for redevelopment so in a couple of years it will be worth a fortune. Under the terms of the will Duncan cannot sell the house until he has lived in it for one year, but he must make his decision as to whether he will live in it after spending just one night there.

If he decides not to live there the house will go to his cousin Rachel Judson (Patricia Barry) and her husband Oliver (Richard Anderson).

Duncan is both a cynic and a sceptic. He wants to sell that house and he is arrogant and selfish.

Rachel and Oliver meet him at the house and they seem to be pretty obviously trying to spook him, with tales of ghosts and mysterious deaths and other assorted horrors associated with the house. Duncan isn’t worried. He doesn’t believe in ghosts and he has a gun so he’s confident he can deal with any humans who might try any fake haunting nonsense. Duncan has very good reason to suspect that Rachel and Oliver are going to do anything they can to frighten him so when he starts to hear all the classic haunted house sounds – the creaking doors, the footsteps on the stairs, chains rattling etc – he naturally assumes that they’re responsible for those sounds.

But Duncan is not quite as confident as he seems to be. Being alone in an old isolated very spooky house, lit only by candles, really is pretty scary. He starts to get a bit spooked. And he suspects that Rachel and Oliver have drugged him as well.

Things don’t turn out the way any of the three protagonists expected when the plot twists start to kick in. The setup might be utterly conventional but Douglas Heyes (a great television) writer knows how to take such a setup and add some nasty twists.

The first thing you’ll notice about this episode is that the exterior shots of Black Oak are in fact the Bates House from Psycho. Thriller was made at Universal Studios and that house (which has been used many times since) was available and let’s face it, it’s a fantastic setting.

The three leads all give fine performances. They don’t trust each other and the viewer isn’t going to trust any of them. We know there’s going to be dirty work afoot, even if the supernatural doesn’t take a hand. And this being Thriller we can’t be absolutely certain that the supernatural won’t take a hand.

What’s striking about this episode is just how moody and atmospheric it is. And how gothic it is. Low-key lighting, lots of shadows, night scenes. Not quite what you expect from a 1960 television series. It doesn’t really look like television. It looks rather cinematic.

With a very strong cast, great writing and directing by Douglas Heyes and all that atmosphere this really is a very very good episode.

The Prediction

The Prediction (directed by John Brahm and written by Donald S. Sanford) is one of several episodes in which Karloff himself takes the starring rôle.

He plays Clay Mace, who has a very successful mentalist act. Clay is just an entertainer and would never claim to have any actual occult or paranormal powers. Or at least he thought he didn’t have any such powers, until one night he sees a vision of a young boxer being killed in the ring. And the prediction comes true.

Other predictions come true as well. This is very upsetting for Clay. Not only did he never claim to possess such powers, he never wanted to.

Clay’s assistant in his act is a charming young and beautiful woman named Noreen (Audrey Dalton). Noreen’s father is a drunk and treats her badly so she looks to Clay as a substitute father figure. Things get awkward when Clay sees a vision of the future which involves Noreen’s fiancé. The ending is effective and satisfying.

This is another example of Thriller taking an unoriginal idea but making it work, and work very well. Once again there’s plenty of slightly unsettling atmosphere, the visuals are impressive by 1960 television standards, the directing is tight and the performances are superb.

Karloff is in great form – slightly spooky but very sympathetic. Clay is a man desperately trying to come to terms with a very unwelcome gift which threatens his peace of mind and even his sanity. Karloff never overplays his performance.

The supporting cast is strong. Audrey Dalton is charming and likeable. Alan Caillou is terrific as her caddish father. Abraham Sofaer is wonderful as Gus, the owner of the club in which Clay does his act and a loyal friend.

The basic story idea had been done before (most notably in 1934 in the movie The Clairvoyant with Claude Rains) but it’s executed extremely well and Karloff’s performance is enough to make it something special.

Hay-Fork and Bill-Hook

Hay-Fork and Bill-Hook (written by Alan Caillou and directed by Herschel Daugherty) really piles on the gothic atmosphere. Detective-Inspector Harry Roberts (Kenneth Haigh) has been sent from Scotland Yard to investigate a murder in the small Welsh village of Dark Woods. An old man was killed – he was stabbed with a hay-fork and a cross was carved on his throat with a bill-hook. Which certainly looks like a ritual murder – this is the way the locals used to deal with witches.

The villagers of Dark Woods are not still living in the Middle Ages, They’re still living in a time earlier than that, a time when druids carried out ritual sacrifices. Witchcraft is taken for granted in Dark Woods. Harry Roberts is appalled to discover that the local policeman (there’s only one), a man named Evans, believes implicitly in witches. The Chief Constable, Sir Wilfred (Alan Caillou), assures Roberts that all the villagers believe in witchcraft. Sir Wilfred is worried that the villagers might found out that Roberts’ wife Nesta (Audrey Dalton) thought she saw a black dog on the road. The villagers think black dogs are symbols of witchcraft.

And now the villagers have burnt an old woman for witchcraft.

Harry Roberts slowly comes to realise that the village of Dark Woods is not part of the modern world. He’s not dealing with ordinary murders.

This episode is in some ways an anticipation of the wonderful 1973 British horror movie The Wicker Man, which also deals with a city policeman confronting ancient beliefs in a remote community.

Once again the acting is a major strength and when combined with lots of gothic cinematography the result is a very fine episode.

Well of Doom

Well of Doom (adapted by Donald S. Sanford from a story by John Clemons and directed by John Brahm) again features the kind of gothic visuals more usually associated with Universal horror movies of the 30s than with 1960s television. It’s obvious that the similarities to the look of those 30s Universal movies is very deliberate. And the gothic atmosphere is laid on very very thick indeed. The original short story by John Clemons had appeared in the Thrilling Mystery pulp magazine in 1936.

It is night and Robert Penrose (Ronald Howard), heir to a large estate and to be married the following day, is on his way to his bachelor party when he and faithful family retainer Teal (Torin Thatcher) are kidnapped. It’s not an ordinary kidnapping – they have been kidnapped by Beelzebub himself (calling himself Squire Moloch) and his servant Master Styx (Richard Kiel).

Penrose, who has apparently been a somewhat irresponsible rich young man in his youth, tries to buy his way out of trouble but Moloch informs him that all his money would not be enough to purchase his freedom. Penrose ends up being imprisoned in a dark dungeon where he slowly becomes aware of Moloch’s fiendish intentions.

The story is fine but it’s the visuals and the acting that make this one of the great Thriller episodes. Ronald Howard is excellent as the slightly effete slightly ineffectual hero who is going to have to play the hero if he’s to have any chance of survival. Henry Daniell goes gloriously over-the-top as the evil Moloch. Richard Kiel is equally good as the sinister Master Styx. Fintan Meyler is OK as Penrose’s bride-to-be but it’s really a very small part.

Well of Doom is a perfect example of Thriller at its most typical and at its best.

Final Thoughts

So, four episodes and all of them excellent and highly recommended. And they’re a fine example of Thriller in its transitional phase from a mystery/suspense series to a horror series.

I’ve posted a number of previous Thriller reviews here, here and here.

three Outer Limits episodes (1964)

Reviews of a few more episodes from the first season of one of my all-time favourite anthology TV series, The Outer Limits.

The Outer Limits did not achieve the same level of commercial success or continuing popularity as The Twilight Zone or Alfred Hitchcock Presents and that may be partly due to the limitations of 1960s television special effects. The Outer Limits was never afraid to show the monsters but they weren’t always very convincing.

In actual fact the crudity of the special effects isn’t really a problem. The Outer Limits is really a science fiction series focused on the writing rather than the effects. And even though there were monsters the writing was focused on ideas and moral dilemmas rather than monsters and aliens.

While The Twilight Zone was often visually superior The Outer Limits has stood the test of time a lot better.

The Bellero Shield

The Bellero Shield was written by Joseph Stefano and Lou Morheim and directed by John Brahm. It went to air on February 10th 1964.

Richard Bellero (Martin Landau) is a scientist working on lasers. He is also the son of fabulously wealthy industrialist Richard Bellero Sr (Neil Hamilton) and he desperately craves his father’s approval and he also hopes that when his father retires he will take over Bellero Industries. His rabidly anti-war father however fears that the lasers could be used as weapon. He is not impressed by the laser experiments and he is not impressed by his son’s choice of a wife.

The younger Bellero has been aiming his lasers into outer space and that has now had an unexpected result. The laser has formed a kind of bridge into outer space and a creature has travelled down that bridge into Bellero’s laboratory. The creature seems to be some kind of creature of light.

The creature seems harmless and friendly, if a bit suspicious of humans. The creature is obviously intelligent and communicating with it is no problem. Young Bellero is excited by the scientific implications but his wife Judith (Sally Kellerman) sees other possibilities – possibilities of limitless power and wealth.

Judith then decides to do something that seems very clever, if very ruthless, but in practice it isn’t so clever after all.

This episode is a science fictional version of one of Shakespeare’s more famous plays. If I tell you which one it will give away most of the details of the plot. Trying to do a Shakespearian Outer Limits episode was certainly bold but it works quite well, largely due to Sally Kellerman’s powerhouse performance.

In fact The Bellero Shield is one of the best episodes of the series. The science stuff is very dubious indeed (although quite imaginative, especially the communication through the eyes) but the science stuff is not the point of the story. This is a human tragedy in science fictional guise. It’s also an episode that demonstrates why The Outer Limits was on the whole a lot more successful than The Twilight Zone – it avoids the sentimentality and the heavy-handed moralising that so often afflicted The Twilight Zone.

The Invisibles

The Invisibles was written by Joseph Stefano and directed by Gerd Oswald. It went to air on February 3rd 1964.

The Invisibles is inspired a bit too obviously by Robert A. Heinlein’s The Puppet Masters. Aliens that look a bit like crabs have reached the Earth and they plan to take over by having themselves implanted into humans, thus forming a kind of alien-human hybrid. The idea is to take over a lot of very important people.

Of course the aliens have human allies. Until they’re implanted into humans the aliens are almost defenceless.

Three disreputable men, outsiders and losers, are part of the latest intake. Their task is not to be implanted with the aliens but to get close to those important people and do the implanting. Luis B. Spain (Don Gordon), Genero Planetta and Henry Castle will first be inoculated against alien implantation. The implantation does not always work entirely successfully and when it doesn’t work the results are most unfortunate.

The conspirators have lined up a job for Spain as chauffeur to a general in Washington.

The conspiracy is almost perfect, except that there is a traitor in their midst – a US Government agent.

Apart from The Puppet Masters the other obvious influence is Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Once the aliens have been implanted the alien-human hybrid looks just like a normal human. Like The Puppet Masters and Invasion of the Body Snatchers this episode can be viewed as a political allegory about communism (or about modern mass society in general).

The Invisibles might not be dazzlingly original but it’s very well executed, it’s tense and it has some definitely creepy moments. Director Gerd Oswald adds to the creepiness with some effectively disturbing low-angle shots. Joseph Stefano (the producer of the series) wrote the script. The idea of the aliens using outcasts and losers as their servants works well and adds to the paranoia – these are men who have never trusted anybody in their lives. Don Gordon’s performance as Spain is a plus.

Specimen: Unknown

Specimen: Unknown was written by Stephen Lord and directed by Gerd Oswald. It went to air on February 24th 1964.

The crew members of an orbital space laboratory find some strange vaguely plant-like objects on the outside of the spacecraft. They decide, somewhat rashly, to bring them aboard to study them. They prove to be some kind of spores which, when exposed to artificial sunlight, grow into what appear to be plants.

Unfortunately they prove to be deadly plants which give off poisonous gases and release hundreds of new spores. One crew member dies.

When it comes time for the space laboratory crew to board the shuttle craft for their return to Earth they decide, very rashly indeed, to bring the specimens with them. Those specimens then start releasing their poisonous gases and releasing new spores.

Ground control now faces a horrifying decision. Do they risk bringing the shuttle craft back to Earth with its four astronauts and its deadly cargo, or do they destroy the shuttle to ensure that those killer plants never reach Earth? Is it worth sacrificing four lives to protect many lives? Is it worth risking life on Earth in order to save those four men?

Will the writers find a way to resolve the dilemma happily, or take the risk of a downbeat ending? This is The Outer Limits, a program that was prepared to risk downbeat endings but on the other hand downbeat endings were not popular with the networks so we really can’t be sure which way the writers will jump.

The most amazing thing about this episode is that it portrays the astronauts (and indeed the whole space program) as shockingly incompetent and dangerously reckless. When they first encounter the spores these astronauts (who are supposed to be scientists) take no precautions whatsoever in dealing with an alien life form that could potentially be dangerous. They make no effort to isolate the spores. They do not wear any protective gear. The guys at Ground Control are similarly clueless. They seem to have no notion whatsoever that the astronauts are behaving foolishly and recklessly.

On the whole this episode works extremely well.

Final Thoughts

Three episodes, two of them (The Bellero Shield and The Invisibles) very very good indeed and the third one pretty decent as well. At this stage of its first season The Outer Limits really was on a roll.

Simon & Simon, season one (1983-84)

Simon & Simon is a quirky private eye series that premiered on CBS in 1981. Its roots however go back further than that. The original pilot, Pirate’s Key, went to air in 1978. It was set in Florida. When the series was finally given the green light the setting was changed to San Diego. Apparently the pilot also has a very different kind of tone.

Simon & Simon was an immediate ratings disaster and after a single 13-episode season was on the verge of cancellation. It was saved by a change of time slot. A very clever change of time slot – it now followed the established private eye hit Magnum, P.I. and to cement the relationship in viewers’ minds a crossover episode was made. Simon & Simon now became a major hit (and Magnum, P.I.’s ratings were boosted as well).

There’s some similarity in tone between the two series. Both are slightly offbeat and both rely quite a bit on charm, style and wit. Magnum, P.I. skilfully combines these elements this with some occasional very dark subject matter. Simon & Simon is more consistently light-hearted but the idea that Magnum, P.I. fans would probably enjoy Simon & Simon was a pretty sound one.

As so often happened in American television the series gradually became, under network pressure, more and more conventional. That first season remains genuinely offbeat and incredibly entertaining.

Brothers Rick and A.J. Simon run a small private detective agency in San Diego, right cross the street from Myron Fowler’s huge Peerless Detective Agency. The Simon & Simon agency survives (just) because it offers the personal touch. And also they’re cheaper!

Their relationship with Myron Fowler is uneasy to say the least but this is basically a lighthearted series so that aspect is mostly played in a humorous way. Rick and A.J. do get along very well with Myron’s daughter Janet (Jeannie Wilson). She’s a lawyer and she helps them out a lot, much to Myron’s disgust.

The brothers (in the finest television tradition) make an ill-matched pair. A.J. looks like he could be an accountant and he has the sense of responsibility and the work ethic to match. Everything about him screams middle class. He dresses neat. He wears nice suits. He drives a 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air convertible. He’s a bit of a yuppie. Rick by contrast is a good ole boy. While A.J. does the paperwork he watches sports on TV and drinks beer. He wears jeans. He looks disreputable and he’s totally irresponsible. He drives a pick-up truck.

Rick and A.J. squabble constantly but in fact they’re very close. It’s not just brotherly affection. Despite their differences they like one another. And they work together as a team because they trust each other. It’s a classic Odd Couple setup but it works because Gerald McRaney (as Rick) and Jameson Parker (as A.J.) have genuine charm and the scripts make the most of their relationship.

It was a series that had enormous potential. There have been plenty of series with enormous potential that were cancelled after a single season because in those days the networks had no patience with any series that was not an immediate hit. Simon & Simon just got very very lucky. It was given the opportunity to survive and viewers came to love the show enough to keep it going for eight seasons.

While Magnum, P.I. remains the great American private eye series of the 80s Simon & Simon runs it a pretty close second. Both series have a slightly offbeat feel but each has its own distinctive flavour. Thomas Magnum is the ultimate glamorous private eye even if his glamour is borrowed (he lives in a mansion he doesn’t own and drives a Ferrari he doesn’t own). He’s impossibly good-looking and sexy. The Simon brothers are totally unglamorous. They’re the kinds of guys nobody ever notices. They’re just ordinary.

No matter how appealing your lead characters might be you still need stories that will persuade people to start watching and keep them watching until the closing credits. The first season scripts consistently do this. There are always a few nice unexpected touches. Some of the stories are outrageous, but they never become merely silly.

The humour is good-natured. There’s no graphic violence. This is a feelgood series but it’s a smart quirky witty feelgood series.

I should also mention the great opening titles sequence and the opening theme tune, both of which were unfortunately changed to something more conventional for the second season.

Episode Guide

In Details at Eleven the brothers have to find a missing girl but finding her is just the start of their troubles. It’s what she’s running away from that matters. There’s a whole world of corruption to deal with. Political corruption and media corruption. Corrupt people who are very dangerous. They play for keeps.

In Love, Christy Rick is overjoyed when blonde bombshell college student Christy hires the brothers to get her stolen car back. Unfortunately Christy is the kind of blonde who gives blondes a bad name. She’s spoilt and rich and doesn’t care about her car. What she cares about is the biology test paper that’s in the car, the test paper she stole (Christy doesn’t see why she should have to study for tests because after all she’s blonde and rich). Getting the car back gets Rick and A.J. into all sorts of trouble with some very nasty criminal elements. Untrustworthy clients getting private eyes into trouble were a staple of private eye series but this episode handles the theme pretty well. It’s light-hearted fun and it works.

Trapdoors deals with computer crime, a new and exciting subject in 1981. A 13-year-old has hacked into the local bank’s computer. The kid, Terry, has an awesome computer setup in his bedroom. He has a dial-up connection. A real dial-up connection – you have to dial the number by hand on a telephone handset. There was no internet to connect to. Even bulletin board services were in their infancy. And he has a tape drive! If you’re of a certain age you’ll get a nostalgia blast from this episode. Terry hasn’t exactly been robbing the bank – he’s been borrowing money from other people’s accounts and collecting the interest. The bank hires the Simon brothers to catch the kid but of course the story is not as straightforward as it seems. As well as early 80s computers the story also involves role-playing games so there’s even more 80s nostalgia. And it’s a great story.

In A Recipe for Disaster a woman hires the Simon brothers when she thinks her estranged husband has kidnapped their daughter. But that’s not what happened at all. Sure Steve Gaines has his daughter with him down in Mexico where’s he’s working on an oil field. In fact Gaines in in trouble. A lot more people could be in trouble. A whole town full of people. It’s all to do with oil and money. Rick and A.J. will have to try to get both Gaines and his daughter out of that trouble. Lots of action in this one, and suspense, and humour as well (as the kid slowly drives A.J. and Rick insane). Rick also has a new gadget to play with. He loves gadgets. A very enjoyable episode.

In The Least Dangerous Game Rick and A.J. are hired by the zoo. There was an unfortunate incident there. One of the lions ate one of the keepers. That’s not good publicity for the zoo so the brothers’ job is to preserve the zoo’s good name by smearing the character of the keeper. Nothing about this case adds up. The Simon brothers re more and more suspicious but the solution to the mystery is weirder than they could have imagined. And Rick almost gets eaten by a bear. The Simon & Simon is pretty well established by now – clever scripts like this one combining humour and mystery with a few offbeat touches. A fine episode.

The Dead Letter File presents the Simon brothers with an opportunity to make a name for themselves. The only thing is, the murder took place in 1959. If there was a murder. The trouble with a 23-year-old murder case is that everyone involved is dead. Everybody except the murderer. The case involves tacos and burgers, and disc jockeys. It’s a typical episode, which means it’s clever and amusing and charming. It’s good stuff.

In The Hottest Ticket in Town the trouble starts when Rick and A.J. agree to try to get tickets for the sold-out Rick Brewster concert for their cousin Dianne. They manage to get hold of not the three tickers that she asked for but 8,000 tickets. They’ve stumbled on a racket. They try to do the right thing but people keep misunderstanding their intentions and pointing guns at them and hitting them. It’s a fun and original kind of episode, the kind of slightly offbeat thing this series did so well. John Travolta’s older brother Joey plays rock star Rick Brewster.

Ashes to Ashes, and None Too Soon is a tangled tale of love and diamonds. The Simon brothers hate serving papers on people but private detectives have to eat. This time they have reason to doubt the identity of the man they served the papers on, and then there’s a corpse to deal with. And there’s a Fed to deal with as well. And a woman. Actually two women. It’s all delightfully complicated. A great episode.

The Uncivil Servant brings the brothers an unexpected and very reluctant client – Myron Fowler. There’s a serious security leak at the Peerless Detective Agency and it has to be investigated by an outsider. Nobody will talk. They’re all too scared. What kind of monster could reduce grown men to abject terror? Could it be the Mob? In fact it’s worse. It’s a man from the IRS. The IRS is no laughing matter but there is plenty of humour in this episode, much of it courtesy of Jerry Stiller as a discount furniture king who does his own TV commercials which are so awful that Rick just can’t stop watching them. It all turns out to be a tale of revenge long delayed. And it’s great fun.

In Earth to Stacey Rick thinks he’s been clever, poaching a client from right under Myron Fowler’s nose. But Stacey proves to be something of a nightmare client. She’s rich, spoilt and crazy. Her husband-to-be stood her up at the altar and she wants him found. Finding him is easy but after that things get complicated and Stacey gets crazier. It’s a typical Simon & Simon episode – clever and whimsical.

Double Entry starts with a very routine surveillance case. A woman thinks her husband is cheating on her. The surveillance reveals that something quite different is going on. Then the husband gets kidnapped. It’s a pretty solid episode with some amusing interplay between the brothers and their client who seems to be enjoying the whole thing way too much.

In Matchmaker Rick and A.J. are offered a case by Vicky Whittaker. Whittaker works for an insurance company which wants to buy back stolen antiques from a burglary gang. The brothers have worked for Whittaker before and they know she’s totally untrustworthy and would double-cross her own mother but the money on offer is good. The burglary racket is worked from a computerised dating service so A.J. will have to date lots of beautiful women in order to find the one behind the racket. Dating beautiful women in the line of duty is just one of those unpleasant jobs a private eye has to do. The brothers still have a bad feeling that Whittaker os going to land them in trouble, and she does. It’s an amusing little episode with everybody having problems with love.

In Tanks for the Memories the Simon brothers are hired by their old high school teacher to find a former classmate of theirs, and they find themselves plunged into a world of survivalists, mercenaries and crazies. They’ve also stumbled into the middle of an FBI investigation. Lance LeGault plays a totally crazed mercenary leader and as you’d expect he has a great time chewing the scenery. There’s even a bit of A-Team style action. A fun ending to the season.

Final Thoughts

The first season of Simon & Simon is an example of a great TV series which, given a chance, was always eventually going to build a big audience. Luckily it was, against the odds, given that chance. This first season is just amazingly charming and enjoyable. Highly recommended.